the arrival

as i gazed across the sea of anxiously optimistic faces that surrounded me in our Washington, DC hotel conference room, it dawned on me that these 39 strangers were to become the closest thing i would have to an "immediate family" for the next 27 months. our hometowns and backgrounds different, our motivation for "leaving it all behind" varied. and yet here we were, standing in line together, signing up for a new job. a new adventure. a new perspective. a new life. while i knew nothing about any of these individuals that wasn't scribbled on a nametag, we were already deeply connected through this simultaneous, self-induced marooning. a fascinatingly daunting discovery.

by the end of our orientation weekend, the jet lag effect had me disoriented. drunk with the time change and the excitement of this unique concoction of personalities, it didn't hit me until i stepped on that final plane. and then it sunk, fast and deep. Dallas to Belize. the 40 of us were crouched together at the starting line of a sort of fantastical obstacle course. due to weather conditions, we circled the Belize City airport, suspended over our new home for what felt like an eternity. but we finally landed. and at that moment, everything that we'd undergone to reach this destination, everything we'd given up, was worth it.
the realization of how far you are from everything you know is a hard one. but it's the kind of "hard" that you live for.
on the bus ride, trying to soak in the surroundings, it was all so surreal. the air was thick and clean. we all stared out the bus windows as if watching t.v. screens. the skies were grey and raining but everything else was green green green.
after a quick visit to the office to meet the staff and the US ambassador, we end our journey in San Ignacio. for the next week we will share thatch-roofed cabanas; 2 clean white beds, airy curtains, a fully equipped bathroom... up to this moment, it was unknown at what points in this journey we would have running water and electricity, so i am ecstatic to discover the shower. then i notice the t.v. mounted in the corner of our "hut." below the t.v. stands a fan, which will be the most appreciated ammentiy when the rain stops. if the rain stops.

standing outside my cabana, this place looks unearthly. cameras don't do justice to the layer of mist that hovers amidst the silhouettes of the trees. a handful of us share our first sips of Belikin beer on the patio.
the rain continues to pour, but soon i am fast asleep.

how did i get here.

where to being.

everything was set. i had put in my two weeks notice at the preschool; i had sold my beloved first car; i had a massive garage sale, basically giving everything i owned that represented "my life" to strangers. all that remained were a couple photo albums, my collection of reading material that i simply could not part with, my CDs... it all fit in a small plastic trunk in a corner of my parents' house in orange county.

i was joining the peace corps and making the committment to live in a "third world country" for the next twenty seven months. my assignment: teacher trainer in belize.
plane ticket reservations made, i received a phone call four days before i would be departing to washington D.C. for the orientation weekend. my group was being deferred, but that was all they could tell us. no explanation, no new departure date. just me standing in my living room, phone in hand, trunk in the corner.

a week later, after spending my jobless days soaking in the beach, playing with the new family puppy, and throwing a few final fiestas with my loved ones, the phone rang again. "you're leaving for D.C. in three days."

...and thus it began.

currently under construction...

.... my journal, that is. it'll be some time before i make something out of this jumble of images and emotions i've scratched into the pages of my black moleskin journal.
but never fear. it will happen...