and just one last weekend in Guate...

our trip back on Sunday was brutal. my stomach was in a lot of pain and the hours of windy, bumpy bus rides were rough. by the time i got in bed, back in Santa Lucia, my fever was at 103 degrees. my sample sent in to the lab tells them i have some sort of bacterial stomach infection; i'm barely eating. today i'm "home" sick again, and more homesick than ever. i received a letter from my ex-boyfriend and also heard that one of my closest volunteer friends might be going back to the States. it's hard to love this life right now. hard to feel "lucky" and hard to not want more than anything to be home.

***

Feeling much better. i treated my traveling buddies to Domino's pizza- it's a luxury here. my close friend is gone; she's the 6th trainee in our group to leave Belize so far. this isn't for everyone.

***

tonight i joined my host mom at an Independence Day school performance. the kids were adorable- Andrea was a dancing monkey, all in black, black paint on her face. the monkey children shook maracas, devoured actual bananas, and swung their tails. it was hilarious and i had a good laugh with her Grandma. Guate has been breathtaking, amazing, unforgettable... we have one last weekend left here. but i'm ready to be back home... in Belize.

***

in Antigua with a handful of friends, we find ourselves at a bar where i fall in love with a member of the Buena Vista Social Club. this old man could play drums like he wasn't a day over 20, dancing and belting his beautiful songs, but with the talent and ease of someone who has done it for a lifetime. i got 2 hugs and kisses out of him; it was a magical evening of the music that moves me. i was so happy to be dancing in my seat, in that moment, watching someone so happily share his talents. i would've been content if that night never ended.

in the morning, 8 of us piled into a shuttle, headed back to Monte Rico for Independence Day celebrations on the beach. it was an afternoon of wine and conversation and wandering from the cabana to the hot blacksand beach to the hammocks to the pool to the Pacific... we danced to a Cuban salsa band and drank mojitos as the sun went down, burning pink. we had plans to go out and celebrate that night, but a fierce storm arrived; the loudest cracks of thunder, flash after flash of lightning, and a drizzle that quickly became a downpour. we found shelter in our cabana (this guy holds this particular dorm-like hut for backpackers and PeaceCorps kids), and the electricity quickly went out. we sat on all the beds, one candle glowing in the center of the room, and had random conversations in the form of the game "Truth." this weekend has been relaxing; lots of reading and resting.

***

coming back from MonteRico, we took the little boat to Avellana, and then spent the longest leg of the trip, from there to Esquintla, in a van that was so tattered and slow, spewing black clouds of exhaust and clunking with every gearshift, i swore there was no way it would get us to our destination. it was hot and packed (we had something like 26 people crammed into an 8-person van?), and the only ventilation was the permanently opened side door. somehow i managed to get some reading done; my friend squinged up next to me swore he was going to die.
the trip from Esquintla to Antigua, pushed against a window, going from sticky hot to pouring rain. a few of us stopped at a joint in Antigua to catch some NFL and good tourist food- i'm finally eating again.
i found out from home that my mom has broken her hip and dislocated her shoulder, and has been in the hospital now for about a week. while the situation seems minor enough, it's hard not being home right now for her...

***

the group had a "last supper" at a nice restaurant in Antigua wednesday night. amazing food. i left after ordering and called my mom at the hospital; she didn't sound good and the idea of her having to be tested for bone cancer makes my head spin. she's a breast cancer survivor, and it's just a broken hip... but she needs someone home with her full time when she's released. dad's got work, my sister's got GradSchool... i feel like i need to be there. i hung up and managed to enjoy every bite and sip in front of me at the grand table... followed by watching a mellow band at the Rainbow Room one last time.
we'll spend one night in Guatemala City, at that gorgeous HowardJohnson, before flying away from this wonderous place. back to our new families and homes and jobs in Belize.